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- Forget self-care. I’m here to make it all better.
- Mind if I put my cigar in your ashtray? This isn’t just any cigar…
- You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my passive-aggressive-libido-suppressed mind all night.
- Is your therapy office soundproof? Because you make my heart race and my voice tremble.
- Are you a therapist? Because you’re making me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
- Is your therapy approach person-centered? Because you make me feel like the center of your universe.
- Are you a couples therapist? Because I think we could work on our relationship together.
- Are you a therapist? Because I think we could explore some deep emotions together.
- Are you a therapist? Because you make my heart beat faster and my mind clearer.
- Are you a therapist? Because you make me feel understood like no one else.
- Are you a play therapist? Because you’re making me fall in love like a child again.
- Are you a trauma therapist? Because you’re helping me heal from past relationships.
- Are you a therapist? Because being around you feels like a breakthrough.
- Are you a therapist? Because being around you is therapeutic.
- Are you a therapist? Because you’re helping me grow and transform.
- Are you a therapist? Because you bring out the best in me.
- Are you a therapist? Because I feel like I can truly be myself around you.
- Are you a therapist? Because I feel a strong connection with you.
- Are you a therapist? Because I can see a future where we heal each other’s wounds.
- Is your therapy room always this beautiful? Or is it just your presence that makes it so?
- Are you a Freudian therapist? Because you’ve been occupying my thoughts all day.
- Are you a therapist? Because I feel safe opening up to you.
- Are you a therapist? Because I feel like you understand me even before I speak.
- Are you a behavioral therapist? Because you’re positively reinforcing all my good feelings.
- Do you believe in soulmates? Because I think we might share a therapy couch in a past life.
- Are you an art therapist? Because you bring color into my life.
- Are you a therapist? Because I’m addicted to your positive energy.
- Are you a therapist? Because I want to explore the depths of my soul with you.
- Are you a therapist? Because you’re helping me rewrite my love story.
- Are you a therapist? Because talking to you is the best form of self-care.
- Are you a therapist? Because you’re becoming an integral part of my self-care routine.
- Are you a therapist? Because you make me believe in the power of healing.
- Are you a therapist? Because you’re helping me process my emotions in the best way.
- Are you a cognitive behavioral therapist? Because you’re helping me reframe how I see relationships.
- Hey baby, how about we try an experiment using stimulus and response?
- You’re the Youn gian archetype for the perfect woman.
- Your ego may be saying ‘no’, but your id is giving me a tongue bath.
- I need some advice on posture, my knees go weak when I see you.
- Do I need to see a physical therapist? Because I keep falling for you!
- Can you help me with my ergonomics? I can’t seem to sit still around you.
- Are we working on a joint mobilization exercise? Because our chemistry is undeniable.
- Are you a goniometer? Because you’ve measured the angle of my heart.
- I’ve got a funny bone and I’m not afraid to tickle it around you.
- Is there a special exercise for being lovestruck? Because you’ve left me in a whirl.
- Is this a balance exercise? I can’t seem to keep my footing around you.
- If our love story were an exercise, it would be called “Inevitable Progression.”
- Are you a yoga block? Because you come to my rescue at just the right moment.
- You’re like a stability ball – always keeping me well-balanced.
- You must be range of motion, because every time I see you, you take my breath away.
- Are you a foam roller? Because you’ve really got my muscles relaxed.
- Can you design a strengthening program for my feelings for you?
- Can you help me with proprioception? I lose my senses around you.
- Can you help me increase my flexibility? Because you’ve got me bending over backwards for you.
- I must have a muscle imbalance, because I’m falling for you.
- You’re like an electrical muscle stimulator – you’ve got my full attention.
- Are you a soft tissue mobilization tool? Because you’ve smoothed out all my problems.
- Can you design an exercise regime for my heart? Because you really make it race.
- Are you a lumbar roll? Because you’ve got my back.
- You must be an adjustable exercise station, because you can fit into my life perfectly.
- Can you recommend any cardio exercises? My heart’s been racing nonstop since I met you.
- You must be a rehab professional because you’ve healed my broken heart.
- You must be a Swiss ball – you make my world feel balanced and full of fun.
- You must be a physical therapist because you just swept me off my feet.
- Can you be my personal therapist? Because I’m addicted to your love.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk by again with proper posture?
- If loving you was an exercise, I’d be doing endless reps.
- Are you an ice pack? Because you’ve soothed all my pain away.
- Are you a balance board? Because I can’t seem to stay stable around you.
- Are you a TheraBand? Because you’re the source of my resistance.
- Are you a Pilates mat? Because the more time I spend with you, the stronger I feel.
- Can you help me stretch? My heart is expanding, and I think it’s because of you.
- You must be a posture expert, because you’ve caught my attention.
- You must be a skilled professional – every time I’m around you, my pain magically disappears.
- Are you a treadmill? Because you’ve got me running through my mind all day.
- Damn Baby, you activate my HPA axis. You make my dopamine levels go all silly.
- Do I remember you from my dreams, or is that just a false memory?
- You make me want to maintenance rehearse your name all night long.
- You make my medulla spatter.
- You’re into threesomes? Great, because I’ve got split personality.
- Baby you’re so fine my brain is changing structure just to process it
- Hey, how about you come over to my place and i free you from your confrontation with the givens of existence?
- Can I buy you a shrink?
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- Damn Baby! you just made my afferent neurons buzz with excitement.
- Hey Girl! You remind me of my mother. When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?
- Baby i love everything about you not just the fragmented parts of your personality or your cognitive functioning.
- Do come lay on my couch… With me.
- Baby, all i see in my Rorschach Tests is me and you!
- You fire up all the reward centers in my brain- you’re like a dopamine rush to my head.
- My unconscious mind is urging me to talk to you.
- Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?
- When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?
- You remind me of my mother.
- I’ve got a great psychoanalysis couch back home, care to try it out?
- Hey Girl! Are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you’re making me drool.
- Hey baby i got an acronym for you. D.A.Y.U.M
- Baby you light up my world like my primary visual cortex.
- I have a slight OCD care to be my obsession?
- My hypothalamus is going wild for you!
- Baby you’ll be enhancing the duration of your short term memory tonight.. by saying my name all night long
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- Hey girl can I get your number in my Long Term memory?
- I’d compare you to my mother, but I don’t want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.
- I’ll be a prisoner, you be a guard. Abuse me!
- Dayum girl you give me some physiological arousal
- Hey Girl! I am really worried that you’re at risk for vicarious traumatization.
- All three levels of my psyche agree, we need to start dating
- Daym girl, are you tryna enhance the capacity of your short term memory? Because dat ass is chunky!
- I must have a neurodegenerative disease because I’ve forgotten your number cutie.
- Why don’t I show you my giant inkblot so you can tell me how you feel about it, hmm?
- You are the greatest perception of my heart’s delusion!
- Are you Broca’s aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.
- Do i have to use deception to get voluntary participation from you? You make me want to revoke my withdraw rights
- Care to teach me more about interpersonal relationships?
- What Freudians repress, let’s express!
- Hey Girl! You put me in an altered state of consciousness.
- Baby you’re so beautiful…I can’t break down my thoughts and behavior around you, i can’t help not experiencing you as a whole.
- Girl I’ve got some allostatic load for you right here.
- Has the mere exposure effect kicked in yet, or do i need to walk by again?
- I know your name’s not little Albert, but I can make you scream.
- If you’re an axon, i would be your myelin sheath.
- Roses are red, Violets are blue. If you were a null Hypothesis, I would fail to reject you.
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