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Grocery Store Pick Up Lines :
- Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?
- Want to come over later and help me shuck?
- I’m a man at a farmers market. Of course I’m a catch.
- Don’t you just love stone fruit?
- Want to melt my beeswax candles tonight?
- Funny meat-ing you here.
- You: It’s dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
- You put the hot in hothouse… cucumbers. Too much? Sorry. Maybe we should make out.
- You sure have big baguettes!
- Does your Dad own Snapple, because you’re made of the best stuff on earth.
- Do you prefer organic or local? Because I’m both.
- It’s funny how slippery this jam is!
- It’s the end of the world — again! (At magazine rack)
- I’ve always wanted to be a farmer’s wife.
- Have you ever frolicked in the fields of [name of your favorite farm]?
- Baby, have you been eating your Campbell’s soup? Because you are looking Mmm, Mmm good!
- Do you prefer organic or local? Because I’m both.
- Are we in the laxatives aisle? ‘Cause the thought of hooking up with you is running though my mind like crazy.
- A pretty lady wasn’t on my shopping list but I can be spontaneous.
- I’d love to do a vegetable wash for you.
- Ain’t nothing sticky about those buns – they look nice and smooth.
- Can I wear your plaid flannel when I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?
- Do you need helping seeding your flower garden for next season?
- It says right here that this frozen pizza is enough for two.
- (Staring at boxes of cereal) I treat all boxes with respect.
- Egg whites are for pussies. A real man doesn’t criticize an egg for it’s fatty parts, he loves an egg just the way it is.
- Are those melons fresh?
- Want to cross pollinate?
- I’d love a taste of that [insert name of product] before I commit to buying.
- How do you know when an avocado is ripe?
- Let me help you with that.
- You’re so cute I’d add you to my woven basket.
- Clean up in Aisle BVD!
- If I give you my extra coupon will you write my number on it?
- Isn’t it tuber time?
- Reading a shopping list, eh? I see we’re both fans of the classics.
- Let’s ‘bag’ this place and go get a coffee. And yes, I am proud of that pun.
- How can you tell if these things are ripe? (At produce section)
- How early do you rise?
- I forgot my reusable bag, can I borrow one of yours?
- I had a great time tonight. Would you like to plan the second date?
- So how would you like to become a stock man?
- These Heirloom tomatoes are so firm and juicy.
- Have you ever seen a guy eat an entire can of pinto beans in under 10 seconds? Would you like to?
- You: It’s dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
- Let’s make like fabric softener and snuggle.
- How about a little roll in the Bakery Department?
- Is your name Pepsi? Because you sure are sizzling.
- These bags of organic spinach would make some great pillows don’t you think?
- What do you do in your off season?
- Let’s get dirty.
- How do you like your organic, free range eggs?
- Give me your address and I’ll help you put your groceries away.
- These groceries aren’t for me. They’re for my grandma.
- Looks like you’re buying meat. Cool.
- You know, a sack full of groceries can’t hug you back. On the other hand, I totally can.
- The expiration date says “best if used by tonight.” Can I make you dinner?
- Baby, you better get out of that express lane, ’cause you’re all that and a bag of chips.
- How much of this caviar do you think I can get into the trunk of my Ferrari?
- May I use those melons for my Fruit of the Loom salad?
- You’ve got a box of those limited edition tattoo fruit roll-ups, and I’ve got a sugar craving and a bunch of extra spit. Let’s get it on.
- I don’t work at this store, but may I be of assistance to you anyway?
- There is no expiration date for true love.
- These plums are so soft.
- If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be?
- I actually prefer that life give me lemons so that I can make a pretty lady like you some lemonade on a hot Summer’s day.
- Just call me Elvis ’cause I love my meat tender.
- Got milk? You look like you would.
- If you were a bouquet of fresh cut flowers, I would take you home.
- That hand spun sweater looks big enough for two to get cozy in.
- I always like to keep my place stocked with coffee and breakfast food in case I don’t wake up alone.
- There are over six hundred varieties of heirloom tomatoes, but there’s only one of me.
- How long does it take for your bread to rise?
- Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s out of business. And, speaking of Hershey’s, how about a kiss?
- This selection is nuts.
- Can I wear your plaid flannel when I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?
- What’s your favorite way to eat rhubarb? [Wait for answer] I’d love to make it for you.
- Is it really cold in frozen foods, or are you just happy to see me?
- Can I be your next varietal?
- Pssst! My piggly is wiggly.
- These peppers are, like, so yellow. Which reminds me—what are you doing Saturday?
- Clean up in Aisle BVD!
- I hate oranges. Will you be my main squeeze?
- What it doesn’t say on the back of that can of whipped cream is that it tastes really good on my skin.
- Nice basket. Wait! No! I didn’t mean it like that. On the upside, you’re really good at slapping people in the face.
- You know it’s really dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because with your looks you could melt all this stuff!
- Do you like free samples?
- Orange you glad I didn’t say ‘banana?’ I mean, you know the joke ‘orange you glad…?’ What I’m saying is, I’d like to make out with you.
- So, how long have you been pickling these cucumbers?
- Do you know if they sell organic Oreos?
- My meat is very interested in being inside of your fridge.
- Those Carhartt overalls would look even better on my floor.
- This beer has a very sensual taste. What were you thinking of when you brewed it?
- You must be NUTS to shop here, but that’s quite a (pih)STASH(io) you’ve got! cah-SHEW! I just sneezed. Please come back. I swear I’ll stop.
- Can I help you?
- These two quail eggs just fit in my hand perfectly.
- Our love would be 100% organic.
- Can I help you carry your groceries to the car?
- Did you ever notice that supermarket music is actually ideal for slow dancing with strangers?
- I’m trying to convince myself that Corn Pops are healthy.
- Those bananas ain’t got nothing on me.
- What else can you pickle?
- Let’s pick up some artisanal breads and make a baby.
- Price check for mixed roasted nuts on aisle 69!
- I believe a woman should eat as much chocolate as she pleases.
- Look like we’ve got a long wait here in the check out line, so why don’t we get acquainted.
- I avoid the candy aisle because I’m sweet enough on my own.
- Do you know which aisle the edible underwear is in? Oh wait, wrong store!
- Paper or latex? I mean latex or plastic? You know what I mean.
- Did you know that kale is not an aphrodisiac?
- I’ve got some meat here that’s ‘Best if used by tonight.
- This bushel is so dry, let’s change that.
- Let’s just say that my peach-squeezing skills extend to other fruits as well. Like boobs.
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